We Used to Be Friends
by SaturnineSunshine
Summary: A long time ago, we used to be friends. After Serena van der Woodsen overdoses on cocaine the people she once loved splinter apart irreparably. But Blair can't help but question the mysterious circumstances surrounding her best friend's death. Soon Serena's best friend, boyfriend, and childhood friend are all drawn back to consider the disturbing questions surrounding her death.


_**Prologue**_

_**a long time ago, we used to be friends**_

It started with the whispers. That was how it always started. Up until now, Blair had always been quite comfortable with them. They were her bread and butter - if she was allowing herself bread that week.

Whispers were the calm before the storm. They were followed by rumor, gossip, and social ruin. And up until now, that would have been a problem with her. That would have been her main fear.

Now, whispers followed her everywhere. She had been too numb to absorb it at the time. But when she had finally got her anxiety medication in order and her mother had stopped pushing anti-depressants on her, the damage was done.

The only difference was now she really couldn't find it in herself to care.

Now Serena was gone. And nothing else really mattered.

A year ago Blair had been the one planning the famed Kiss On the Lips party. It had been famed for a reason. Now it seemed to be just a pale imitation. A year ago, everything had been different.

Her name curled elegantly on the invitation but even through the ink, she could feel the spite. Spite had been aimed at her for the past three months. As soon as she stepped into the large warehouse room, the whispers rushed over her in waves. Indistinguishable from one to the next, she basically got the gist. Words that could easily have been aimed at Serena if things had been different.

There was emptiness in the room. This was the sort of emptiness that swallowed her everywhere, be the room big or small. This particular room was filled with people who used to call her friend. She couldn't expect that anymore.

Penelope's scathing eyes followed her as she ambled towards the bar.

"You're here." She smiled, but Blair could feel the palpable passive-aggression beneath it.

"I was invited," Blair said as an answer.

Penelope continued smiling. Blair would never mistake it as genuine.

"Oh, I see Nate." And there it was. The real reason that Penelope was wasting her time with someone who was deemed irrelevant. Her real agenda clear in one succinct statement. "Do you want to come and say hi?"

Nate didn't even really have to be there for this tactic to work. Blair knew that much. She used to be the one giving this treatment, not receiving it. She knew how this game was played. But she didn't look to see if he was really there. It didn't matter any more.

"I think I'll pass," Blair said, accepting a glass of whatever from the bartender.

"Suit yourself," Penelope said in a singsong voice before sashaying away. They were definitely doing it. The rumors were true for once. Not like all the ones that were being spread about Blair.

But then again, everyone needed a scapegoat.

Blair took another drink immediately after the first one was finished.

When she looked up again, Penelope was crooning something in Nate's ear. Blair's vision was getting blurry at the edges and her phone started to ring.

Pills rattled in Blair's bag and cold realization struck her. But it wasn't enough to shock her senses to sobriety. This was a bad enough omen as it was. And then it got worse. Right when she crossed the room, her stomach dropped into dread.

Chuck had his limbs crossed at the edge of the wall, eying her with his predator-eyes. Social ruin was his sustenance so it didn't surprise her that this was his feeding ground.

"The bathroom's over there," Chuck pointed lazily. "If you've got the urge."

Normally she would have had a witty retort in her vault just for him. But the fact was, he wasn't wrong. Bile was rising in the back of her throat, stopping her from answering.

Blair slammed the door behind her, barely making it to the sink. Pills and insides came spilling out. Her phone kept ringing until she retrieved it. It was the alarm for her medication. Too little too late. Now it was spilled in the sink.

Her knees were getting weak as she tried to pop the cap of the bottle. The door opened again and Blair ran the tap, washing her sickness away. She felt the eyes of whatever girl had stumbled in.

Whatever warning had been on the bottle against mixing pill and alcohol had not been far off. As she exited the bathroom, she had to hold on to the wall for support.

Far off, Nate had extricated himself from Penelope. But Chuck was still lingering at the wall, watching her carefully.

"That didn't take long."

His drawl was familiar and not for the first time, Blair wished things could just go back to how they were before. Maybe then Chuck would be hanging out with Nate and Blair wouldn't be so alone.

"No minions to hold your hair back?"

Blair leaned against the cold wall for a moment to catch her breath.

"That's the thing," he said. "When the last person who actually likes you is dead, it kind of narrows your options."

Blair sucked in a breath, regaining her composure.

"I guess you've got a point."

Chuck raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Well your girlfriend is dead, it's back to skanks and venereal disease for you."

Chuck's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"If you weren't such a humorless bitch, maybe you'd actually have some friends." Chuck pushed away from the wall to get lost in the crowd.

"Take your own advice," Blair said after him. "Though Nate doesn't seem to be too sorry without your companionship."

Before Chuck could sling back a reply of his own, Blair started up the stairs. She hadn't come here to get into an altercation with Chuck Bass. She didn't know why she had come here. He wasn't wrong. Most people blamed her for everything wrong that had happened in the past few months.

She didn't really have anyone anymore.

Chuck was right.

Serena was gone.

And there was nothing she could do to change that. There was nothing she could do to change anyone else's minds. Maybe it had been a pointed entrance. But no matter what, no one would care what she did. Not anymore.

The corner of the stairs that she had found herself in wasn't bright. She rested her head against the wall again. The lights couldn't hurt her vision. It was secluded enough that no one would bother her. Suffice to say, coming tonight had been a bad idea. Serena would have been brave enough to come to a party where no one liked her. But Blair had never been as brave. Blair had never been as good.

And everyone knew it. It shouldn't have been Serena alone in that hotel room. It should have been Blair.

"_Are you alright?"_

The voice was deep; masculine. She squinted, but she couldn't make out a face in the darkness. She tried to speak, but her throat was tight. Whoever it was walked towards her slowly.

"_Do you need help?"_ There was something familiar about it. But her edges were blurred and she felt weak against the wall.

She shook her head, hoping she could make him go away. She could make it back on her own. She could always make it on her own.

But he kept on coming.

"_Hey, it's okay."_

His hand was on her shoulder at first. The pads of his rough fingertips burned into her bare flesh. She gripped his arms, hoping to keep him at bay. His cologne was strong and he kept walking.

She fell against him.

"_It's okay. I'm here to help."_

His arms surrounded her. She wished she could place the voice. For a moment, she thought she had it.

For a moment.

His lips were on her neck and fear struck through her.

This couldn't be happening. Not here. Not now. Not to her.

"_It's okay_." He kept murmuring in her ear. Her arms were spaghetti as he shoved her against the wall.

He kept telling her that it was okay.

Even as he ripped her underwear and tore her up inside.

This couldn't be happening.

This never would have happened to Serena.

When he was done, he zipped up his pants and left her there on the floor. She didn't know if it had been minutes or hours before she got to her feet. She walked down the staircase, her feet made of pins and needles.

By the time that she had reached the bottom, everyone's phones were already going off. Distantly she was sure she heard someone mentioning how Chuck had gone to the roof with some girl. As Blair looked up, Nate was avoiding her eyes.

The door was close. Her brain buzzed and as she walked out of the party on bandy legs, she heard the word out of everyone's mouth, whispered after her savagely.

"Slut."

* * *

_**Here it is. I don't think I've tried something his ambitious before. If you couldn't tell already, this is heavily influenced by the show (and now movie) Veronica Mars. I take heavily from that universe. No disrespect is intended. This is merely a love letter to both shows. That said, it won't follow the show exactly and his its own timeline. I've never done a mystery before, so bear with me. This is definitely a dark piece so expect that throughout (if you choose to keep reading.) I haven't' written for this fandom in awhile, so here goes nothing.**_

_**Hope you like it.**_


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